Finding Self-Love

Finding Self-Love

I remember the very first time I was really able to look myself directly in the eyes in the mirror. It was the first time I felt, for the smallest moment, a flicker of ‘maybe it’s okay to be me’. But really?


I felt pain and empty inside…


I want to talk about it, and about what self love IS, but first, for a moment, let’s talk about.


DEEP connected soul work.


Which actually… is self love.


Me?? This is really easy to answer.


I’m here to write and speak and perform and dance and be ME and get high vibe as FUCK, just high on life and my message and sharing it all with YOU yes YOU.


When I do these things I am happy, uplifted, I dance into full flow and I OVERflow with happiness and silliness, AND? The money fucking flows, my audience grows, ALL THINGS WORK for me.


When I do NOT do the above things…


You would think, me being a smart ass and success-minded girl and all, that this being true and also KNOWN, obviously I would just SHOW THE FUCK UP for all that I know and my flow and my business and my soul NEED each day, and fuck the rest.


I appreciate the belief in me, but, well, honestly?


You would be wrong.


I still do the human as fuck shit of NOT PUTTING FIRST THINGS FIRST, and sometimes of not even doing ’um at all!


But it does happen. And, what I’ve noticed is that if you’re not careful it kind of creeps up on you, like a WAY OF BEING where one week you were in flow and flying and doing what your soul knows you MUST, with not a care given for a SINGLE damn shit, and then somehow a week or two later you vaguely start to notice –




ALL excuses are terrible, by the way, in case you’re wondering what MY horrendous ones are. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – YOUR EXCUSES MAY WELL BE REAL. This does not make them VALID, it does not make them a worthy reason to NOT LIVE YOUR DREAMS.


‘The answer is self love’.


And I thought –


What IS self-love, really?


Is it self-care? Well, yeah sure … but anyone can do all the self-care shit and pat themselves on the back for it, and still not be in self LOVE.


This is what I feel self love is:


It’s being able to look yourself directly in the eyes in the mirror, while naked, or anytime, and not look away. It’s being able to look at yourself fully and not just accept, but also see the corners of your mouth turn right UP. I remember the first time I REALLY saw myself in the mirror. After decades of not being able to look at me. And I thought – wow. She looks … nice. I think I like her sorta.


This to me is self love.


What else is self love?


It’s being able to walk away, from any person or any thing or any item in your schedule which you suddenly realise (or suddenly become honest about admitting!) is not aligned, you don’t really like, you don’t really WANT in your life. It’s being courageous and SELF LOVING enough to say – actually. No way Thank you, but no thank you.


What else does it mean, to LOVE yourself?


It’s taking daily time. No matter how fucking busy you are. No matter how much the world wants you or demands you. To journal. Or meditate. Or vision. Or whatever you need to TUNE IN TO YOU, and start your day from your CORE, not the noise of the world. It’s holding up an energetic stop sign, and saying – you know what? I ain’t got time for that right now. I’m over here NURTURING AND LISTENING TO MY SOUL. And as for when I’ll be done, and ready for the rest of the world? I SUPPOSE WHEN I’M DONE I’LL BE DONE.


HELL Yeah! 


It’s honouring what is needed in the NOW.


This is self love. This, coupled with choosing to have faith that you are ALLOWED TO DO THIS, and giving yourself permission TO do it.




When you’re IN self love, you know that if something doesn’t LIFT AND LIGHT YOU UP then it gets to go. Period. The end. You know that this is not just because you are allowed to live in love and happiness, but also because if it doesn’t FEEL good and aligned and right and true it doesn’


YOU know this right?


This is a FACT!!! Self love shows the way. If you let it in.

When you’re in self love you are HONEST with yourself. About where you’re not owning it. Where you need to rip the fucking bandaid. Where you need something. Where you need to kick your own ass. What you WOULD be doing if you WERE indeed being fully you.




Self love does not sit its ass down and hope shit just sorts itself out. Self love does the WORK … ALL of the work … the SOUL aligned work … and makes decisions based on what is available and what is inside of YOU, not what drama or a STORY says in the moment.


Self love is owning your own super power.


CHOOSING to be the confident and badass you, the leader you, the you who steps up even when scared or unsure or questioning your own worth or value.


Self love pays ATTENTION when triggered, sad, down, unhappy. It’s about allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling, whilst ALWAYS knowing there is another choice available, and being willing to face INTO the pain or uncertainty or resistance in order to let it all out.


Self love knows the answers are always and ONLY within.


That it’s down to how you want to FEEL.


That feelings are a choice.


And so are ALL results and outcomes.


But that they NEVER come about from doing shit you don’t wanna do –


And finally …


Self love makes its claim. Self love is YOU making your claim.

Knowing and deciding and OWNING it –


I AM this person.


Yes ME -


I am a artist. I am a writer. I am a speaker. I am an entrepreneur . I show up fully for my content EVERY DAMN DAY, unleashing and playing and letting the silly as well as the inspiring and badass of me OUT.


When my head hits the pillow at night – 


I know I showed the fuck up and owned it.


This is my self love CHOICE, for me – 


And it’s my wish for you.


This is self love.


Love & light


Jo xx